Today my love and I attended an adoption workshop our church put on. My husband was still saying 10 years but I just prayed for both of our hearts to be wide open to whatever He had to say to us.
I will be honest. I did not really feel we belonged to this group. Not that I felt we were out of place exactly, but our hearts were going in a slightly different direction. I mean, we have had a family and did not have a desire left unfilled like some couples facing infertility and such. We got pregnant 4 times in 5 years and have done the newborn thing and while we would do it again in a heartbeat if a child fell into our laps, I just did not feel our desires were quite like those of the other families there.
Kenneth and I are both more interested in the foster care system and that was not touched on as much as I hoped it would be. I was very glad to be there and felt Kenneth was too even though we had circumstances that could have made it difficult. My love is not one that can be dragged along to pursue a passion of mine without silently protesting louder that a two year old's temper tantrum. He seemed to want to be there as much as I did. It was time well spent together but as we gathered our things to leave, I had no new direction to take my prayers.
There was a display in the back of all these profiles of kids in the foster system that needed homes and I have no good reason for not going look. The display had recently been featured at church and I missed it then also. It was information I had hoped for but never went after so when it was time to go, I said 'wait, let me go look at the profiles first'.
My love had already looked and said so. I said well now I need to. He said see if you can figure out which one I want. I said if I do, can we have that child? He said SURE because there were so many to choose from the odds were STACKED in his favor. You know where this is going. I picked the exact child he did.
His name is Leandre and he is 6 years old. He loves Cheetos and hopes to have a puppy one day. I have no idea what this means. If nothing else, that child will be prayed for like he is mine.
Now my love who said 10 years this morning said if the youngest was 8, he would take him in a second. That is in 4 years. 6 years sooner that his original plan. He also said a few other things that got my heart racing.
Now as I prep my home and family for the hurricane, I wonder where Leandre is. I wonder if storms scare him and if he has been hugged today. I wonder who will tuck him in tonight and if he will wake tomorrow smiling.
I took a profile of his and there is a number on there to call but I do not think I can yet. Until my love tells me to bring him home, I can not do more than pray. There are too many children that will not be hugged today or tucked in tonight or wake up smiling and my heart can not handle that. So for now I pray for Leandre. And all I can say is Leandre, Lord. Leandre, Lord. Leandre, Lord.
Again, I do not know what this means but I do not believe in coincidences and all my spirit says over and over is Leandre, Lord! That is my new direction. Leandre, Lord.