Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
It was an old school pastor and I was so pleased that he was brave enough to preach on homosexuality the way he did. He was so all about love the sinner, not the sin. It was powerful. The old man has SKILLS. I recommend anyone, married, single, straight, gay, red or yellow listen to the message. I linked the title to the church's online sermons and the date was June 18th. He also touched on living together before marriage and the divine order God wants for our homes.
I took mad notes besides the 3 pages we were given but the one thing that stood out to me most, possibly because I needed it, was how we need to view our spouse as the image of Christ.
Romans 8:29 says we were created in the image of Christ. If our spouse ask us to do something (I am talking take out the garbage or clean up the kitchen, not rob a bank type thing), if we were to look at it like 'I am taking out the trash for Christ' it will 1. be easier for us to do 2. show the love of Christ IN us 3. set the example of Divine Order and Christian Love to those in our home 4. earn us rewards in heaven 5. please our Lord, shall I go on?
I have noticed lately my eyes are dull. I can smile but it does not reach my eyes. My eyes look tired and old. My light has gone out. I think it is because I am outside the will of God. I need divine order in my home.
It should be:
If God and Christ are equal (which they are), then man and woman can be equal and still stay in the order God designed.
Sadly in my home it is often: Children, Woman, Man, then Christ & God.
I titled this post common theme because what I see in the Spirit is an attack on the divine order in Christian homes. Satan does not have to wait for us to tip toe into the world to attack us when he can do his best work in our marriages and families. The battle rages in our homes and I have been so completely oblivious lately.
Nehemiah 4:14 says fight for your family. I have been fighting against mine.
Thank God for the Cross where I can repent, take up my sword and charge back into the battle, this time on the right side; the victorious side! That's what I'm talkin bout baby!
I am gearing up for a big fight. My plan is to fast the internet, junk food, possible meat, everything I can think of and seek God's Face until He shows me His Glory.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
- drag a hamster by its tail
- put a hamster in a purse and swing it around
- drop a hamster on a ceramic tile floor
- throw the hamster in anger at a sister (yes, she is me with curls)
The 6 year old is here. She is just easy most days. She did have 'bleeed' quite a few times today but nothing a few bandaids could not fix. Well, except her tongue. She wanted to put one on her tongue that got bit in a wresteling match and I had to say no. Even though it had bleeeeed on it.
I am not going to meet my quota for my business, need to make a large purchace for my ministry and the credit card is maxed. The dog that was missing is back in all her nasty glory, knocking over the trash can, rolling in every stink she can find, trackin in the outside. My husband got a new position at his job and is working every single day although he is more work when he is home. I am not trying to whine but maybe it is normal for me to feel like not getting out of bed some days.
Hopefully pancakes for supper will help my girls not notice the strain of life sucking the energy out of me. Maybe I just need to drink chocolate milk in a martini glass.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
We live in a world where time is money and it is the responsible and right thing to keep track of time; HOWEVER, I am not controlled by time. Yesterday was especially annoying. June 13th; Friday the 13th. Eleven years since my brother was killed, also on a Friday.
While I am aware that I seem to reguard death and loss from a harder point of view, I was so annoyed yesterday at the people who let the lining up of the stars dictate their emotional wellbeing. Way too many times I heard my mother (who spent waaay to much time at my house yesterday for me to not be annoyed no matter what day it was) ask people who called her if they were 'making it through the day' and to 'just hold on, you can make it'. Like their airplane ride of a life hit some turbulance and the fasten seatbelt light came on and the oxegyn masks dropped down.
A friend asked me if it was a bad day and I say NO FOOL! This is the day the Lord has made! I saw some beautiful things and some very ugly things but it had nothing to do with the month, date or day of the week. My mom even texed me later to ask for prayer because she saw (or prolly heard about knowing her) a wreck where 2 people died and it was just '2 hard!'. People die every day. God still reigns. My cousin fell and needed stitches. When I called to check on her, she blamed it being Friday the 13th. She was fine. In fact, she still made it to the party she was going to when she fell where she was encouraged to drink to amp her meds from the ER.
Maybe my mom is not my favorite person but she actually told someone this yesterday, 'my son died on the 13th, my dad on the 14th, my mom on the 16th and my sister on the 17th so it makes for a real tough week'. The thing is, the deaths were not all the same month. Do people just want an excuse for their negitivity? My mom loves attention and sympothy has been the motherload but I mean in general.
My inlaws told us we were insane for going to Disney in December. They said it was only magical during the summer. I am serious. I think the heat made them see things they took for magic. It is like the people who can not attend church on Saturday because it just does not feel right. Or family members who feel you can only celebrate a holiday ON it's designated day. Kenneth works weekends and holidays; we make our own holidays! We are not controlled by the calendar.
Do I ever say, 'well, sure today sucks, it is Monday' or 'sure I am depressed, it is December' or 'of course I am in a bad mood, the date is not an even number or a mulitple of 5! (truely, I can not breath right if the radio volumn is not on an even number or a multiple of 5). I do not want to be that person. I want to be greatful for every day I am given, every breath I take, every chance to attempt to do what I do, yo!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
I took lots of notes and enjoyed the message, praying for God to remove bad words from my vocabulary. Works like doubt and unbelief. The ending prayer, well, it went long. Actually, Pastor felt lead to pray again. He prayed for people who wanted to stop cussing. Like, he said sorry I am keeping yall here so long but I feel there are people here who want to be set free from cussing.
Then he shared how afer being a Christian for only about 5 weeks he responded to an alter call for someone who wanted to stop cussing and got delivered. MAANNN!
Listen, I respect my Pastor. I do not take his word for Truth, only THE Word, but I do submit to my Pastor's authority. So what does this mean?!? Am I wrong that cussing matters little? I do not cuss around my kids. Much. I try not to around others. I watch tv with cussing and my kids will be in and out the room and recently I said 'shit' where my friend's daughter could hear me. Not on purpose but I did not have to say it. My friends have corrected my language before. Things like crap, pissy, oh, and yummy! I refered to a good looking guy as yummy and some of my friends freaked. They asked if I said that about my husband and I said YES! Well, they did NOT approve. That is, until we were all at a women's conference and Tammy Trent said it. Then they said it was ok. A little funny but also kinda crappy.
So here are some of my notes:
- words build up or they tear down
- we speak life or we speak death
- Time does NOT heal all things but our words can bring healing
- God can cleanse a dirty mouth (anyone have an Orbit gum commercial pop into their head?!?)
There were a lot of Proverbs used but one of my favorite verses was not mentioned. Prolly just because so many other scriptures were used. A Word I try to live by is Eph 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of my mouth but that which is good for the use of edifying, that it may minister grace to the hearer.
Granted, if I call my daughter a little shit, that is BAD. But the guy who said shit in his stats about starvation, not so bad in my opinion. I will, however take this matter to prayer. Tonight was NO coincidence. His Word does not return void. Thats what Im talkin about.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Monday, June 02, 2008
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Church was about The Last Lecture; What Matters Most. Some guy wrote a book or something because he is dying. Pastor posed the question 'what do we want to be known for?'. I thought about how individualism often leads only to judgement which drives us to find our own kind and water down who we are. Sad reality all around because we have so much to learn from others who are different and we need to be who we are or who we really are will die.
I love my tattoos (most of them anyway) and I spent way too much time trying to convince myself since becoming a Christian I should not love them. Two people that I love, respect and want approval from just can not stand that I have them and occassionally let me know. While I do not think someone who likes me needs to like tattoos, it pisses me off that someone would hold them against me. I have a friend that hates tats and loves long hair on women. He told me once that if when he met his wife, she had had a tattoo, he never would have dated then married her. And he ment it. Yet, he has never once made me feel like a bad person because my hair is shorter than his or judged me about my tats.
At church during the 20 second T.O. (5 minute break between worship and message) some parents asked if they could talk to me because I had taught their son in Children's Church the week before. The boy asked his parents why I had tattoos. The mom told her boy she would have to ask me and she did. I appreciated that. Truely.
I told her I just like them, like my favorite color or favorite food. I just like them but I do not feel getting one is a decission to be made lightly. 1 Samual 16:7 says people judge by outward apperance, but the Lord looks at a person's thoughts and intentions. I think you need to pray and have a peace from God about getting one but you also have to factor in judgement. If they can not be hidden, will it keep you from some jobs? Will your in-laws be appalled? Will you want to work in the church nursery and have parents feel comfortable leaving their children with you? I am just saying. We live in a world where people judge by outward apperance. I thank my God He looks at my heart and intentions.
So what would I want my last lecture to be about? I do believe it is impossible to predict how I would react if I really knew when my death would be but I know what I want my loved ones to know about me today. I have walked without the Lord as my Savior most of my life and I am convinced that without Him life sucks. It is dark and foul and vile and not worth it. I do not recommend doing life without God because it is hard enough with Him. If I die, I want to leave my love ones this advice, Matthew 22:37-39 says love the Lord with all your heart, with all your mind and all your strength and love your neighbor as yourself. Love God, love your neighbors and love yourself. To know what it means to love, see 1 Corinthians 13. Pray about everything and do it afraid. I want my girls to embrace who God created them to be and say screw anyone who does not approve. John the Baptist wore weird clothes and ate gross stuff and lived in the not so popular neighborhood and did what he was created to do despite what others thought about him. Now, he did need to be checked by Jesus when he let pride get the best of him (Matt 11:6) but he stayed true to who he was until the day his head was served on a platter to the king. I pray I can do the same and that my girls will follow that example.