Sunday, October 21, 2007

Body Talk and Football

My oldest daughter turned 8 yesterday. I just found out more changes occur between the ages of 8-13 in girls than in the first 12 months of life when we go from a tiny helpless newborn to a fat toddeling one year old. I also learned that your feet grow faster than any other body part so they reach full size first. I bought myself books, my daughter books, read every article I notice on the topic, listen to every radio or tv teaching on this type of stuff and I can. not. believe. I am living it. When I was pregnant for Avery I went to a parenting class. When I learned it was a girl I narrowed my field of study. I think I was so worried I would be too scared to do things like have 'the talk' and answer questions and properly educate that I went over board with it all. I am no longer fearful of dealing with this type of stuff (periods, bras, body hair, boys, sex, etc) I am just finding myself a tad bewildered that I am living in this world already. Like I have been preping for 8 years or more and am just taken aback to find myself here. It is almost not even a big deal. It is just life. Our world. The Norm.

I often find myself feeling like day after day just slips by so fast I hardly have time to catch my breath but I still did not acknowledge my children were growing up before my eyes faster than I could blink twice. It is not scary. It is even kind of beautiful in a bizare sort of way. I just want so badly to VALUE my time as Mother to my girls. I need to slow down and be intentional about what matters and not sweat the small stuff more often.

THAT brings me to football. While I am very aware that my opinions and lack of restrainment often hurts and offends others, this is my blog so put your big girl (or big boy) panties on if you want to know what I think. Can some people please grow the hell up and stop investing so much into something that counts for NOTHING!! I am just so sick of people getting so bent out of shape about something that will not last into the eternal. Now before you think I am talking to you, understand it also pisses me off what athletes get paid. People want to bitch and moan that my Pastor and many other Godly people I support live a NOT simple life and spend money on non-necessities when they can give MORE to the poor (because they are already giving a butt load away) and should live a more simple ie poor lifestyle or their preaching will fall on deaf ears. Give me a fliping break and try spending as much time seeking the Lord as the money spending people of God and THEN come tell me you think they are wrong to spend the way they do. And then set your salvation aside and go watch a football game. I see the log in my eye. I do. I just feel like I am consistant. I am what I am and while I may appologize to you about it, I do not really mean it. I really think you need to get over your self. You do not have to like me. I will see you in heaven anyway. I am greatful for the awesome friends I have. The ones who allow me to be me and accept me as I am. They never have to agree with me but they do not ask me to not be me. To the rest of you? I say God bless you out loud with a smile on my face. The Word tells me to try my best to get along with everyone and live in peace as much as it is up to me(Romans 12:18). I will fake it till I make it. That's what Im talkin bout baby.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Do you want to be FREE?

Set Me Free ------Casting Crowns
It hasn't always been this way
I remember brighter days
Before the dark ones came
Stole my mind
Wrapped my soul in chains
Now I live among the dead
Fighting voices in my head
Hoping someone hears me crying in the night
And carries me away
Chorus: Set me free of the chains holding me
Is anybody out there hearing me?
Set me free

Morning breaks another day
Finds me crying in the rain
All alone with my demons I am
Who is this man that comes my way?
The dark ones shriek
They scream His name
Is this the One they say will set the captives free?
Jesus, rescue me


As the God man passes by
He looks straight through my lies
The darkness cannot hide
Do you want to be free?
Lift your chains, I hold the key
All Power on Heaven and earth belong to me

You are free
You are free
You are free

I think this song touches me so deep because I still fight some lies from my dark days. I still remember the smells and the taste of the death I walked in. My stomach churns remembering the rich sweetness of sin in my mouth and the vile bitterness of it in my stomach. I still fight to stay free. I am forever greatful He heard me crying in the night.