Thursday, September 09, 2010

The Price of Truth

You have the right to remain silent.  Anything you say can & will be used against you.  I never have been one to remain silent.  I learned at an early age that what I said would be used against me.  Still I could not keep the truth silent.  Apparently I still cant.

I keep hearing one of my favorite songs play over & over in my head.  A line actually.  Aerosmith's Dream On.  You've got to lose to know how to win.  Sometimes when you are honest, when you tell the truth, when you refuse to remain silent, you lose.

There is not much I hate more than lies.  I hate myself most when I lie.  So I came clean about some lies I have been dealing with and it cost me something precious.  I want to be mad about it.  It is so much easier to just emote in anger.  It is so much easier to rage than to be vulnerable & admit pain & brokenness.  The anger belongs to me.  My scars & the open wounds I have hidden with band aids were gifts from others.  The anger, that is mine.  Still, the truth is free.  It is not prison & chains.  It is not darkness & cold.  I may lose but sometimes that is what it takes to win.

In the end I know the price of truth will be worth it.  I trust God & know my broke needs His fix.  I would never want my junk to bleed all over something I love & taint or jeopardize it.  The truth has a high price.  Maybe that is why I require it.  Every body's got their dues in life to pay.

Friday, September 03, 2010

Permission to Speak Freely by Anne Jackson

Love it! The first thing I love is the visual appeal of this book. I love the look and even the feel of the book. The cover art is great then the more pages you turn, the more artistically beautiful the book becomes.

The intro made me want to cry tears of relief. I fell in love with Anne Jackson before I even got to chapter 1! I am not often a fan of Christians but not only do I want to go to church with Anne, I would love to have her as a friend. I love that she took a huge chance with this book and the topics it covers and I am so relieved to see she is not offering up her book as a cure in 7 easy steps. I love that she acknowledges that humans are so individual that what works for one may not for the other. I love that! It is so frustrating to bring a problem to the church or a christian and be given a pat response that does not work and adds to our guilt.

This book was rhema words to me that left me wanting to curl up in Anne's lap and sob while she held me. I honestly do not think I can possible give a biased review of this book because it was written for me. I do believe that she has touched on something that Christians NEED to tap into if we ever expect to make it through our journey following Christ. Jesus is Truth. The Church are His people. When we, as His people cant speak about our personal Truth, we die a little. Sometimes we die a lot. Anne gave the gift of going first by writing this book. It is a gift. I hope I find the strength to go second with my own confession now so the gift will continue to live. I pray millions of others will be strengthened enough by her gift to do the same. I long to live in a world where we have the permission to speak freely. No matter how painful or how much it cost, Anne highlighted the messy beauty that results. That's what Im talkin bout, baby.