Saturday, June 14, 2008

Calendars do not control me

The only time in my life I ever wore a watch was while I was in the Army. It was almost required. I just have never been one to need to know the time. In fact I have to set an alarm to alert me when to get my children off the bus (often forgetting them on early dismissal days) because I am not aware of time too much. I do not like to keep track of where we are on the calendar either. Now, I do use a super FAB calendar I got from my girl the FLYLady. Click the title of this post for her website and believe me when I say, the FLY calendar is worth every penny I paid for it. I need a good calendar to keep track of our family happenings. Kenneth's shift work, EARLY DISMISSAL DAYS, when I need to be to church on time for a change because I am working Children's Church, stuff like that.

We live in a world where time is money and it is the responsible and right thing to keep track of time; HOWEVER, I am not controlled by time. Yesterday was especially annoying. June 13th; Friday the 13th. Eleven years since my brother was killed, also on a Friday.

While I am aware that I seem to reguard death and loss from a harder point of view, I was so annoyed yesterday at the people who let the lining up of the stars dictate their emotional wellbeing. Way too many times I heard my mother (who spent waaay to much time at my house yesterday for me to not be annoyed no matter what day it was) ask people who called her if they were 'making it through the day' and to 'just hold on, you can make it'. Like their airplane ride of a life hit some turbulance and the fasten seatbelt light came on and the oxegyn masks dropped down.

A friend asked me if it was a bad day and I say NO FOOL! This is the day the Lord has made! I saw some beautiful things and some very ugly things but it had nothing to do with the month, date or day of the week. My mom even texed me later to ask for prayer because she saw (or prolly heard about knowing her) a wreck where 2 people died and it was just '2 hard!'. People die every day. God still reigns. My cousin fell and needed stitches. When I called to check on her, she blamed it being Friday the 13th. She was fine. In fact, she still made it to the party she was going to when she fell where she was encouraged to drink to amp her meds from the ER.

Maybe my mom is not my favorite person but she actually told someone this yesterday, 'my son died on the 13th, my dad on the 14th, my mom on the 16th and my sister on the 17th so it makes for a real tough week'. The thing is, the deaths were not all the same month. Do people just want an excuse for their negitivity? My mom loves attention and sympothy has been the motherload but I mean in general.

My inlaws told us we were insane for going to Disney in December. They said it was only magical during the summer. I am serious. I think the heat made them see things they took for magic. It is like the people who can not attend church on Saturday because it just does not feel right. Or family members who feel you can only celebrate a holiday ON it's designated day. Kenneth works weekends and holidays; we make our own holidays! We are not controlled by the calendar.

Do I ever say, 'well, sure today sucks, it is Monday' or 'sure I am depressed, it is December' or 'of course I am in a bad mood, the date is not an even number or a mulitple of 5! (truely, I can not breath right if the radio volumn is not on an even number or a multiple of 5). I do not want to be that person. I want to be greatful for every day I am given, every breath I take, every chance to attempt to do what I do, yo!

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