Saturday, August 23, 2008

The number 4

I am not that great with numbers. My girls have even been known to say things like 'mom is not that good at math'. Also I have that weird thing with numbers I can see being even or a multiple of 5. Then all alarm clocks (which I hate and are of the devil) must be set on odd numbers. Then there is the number 4.

Middle child actually has a birthday on the 4th and she is the non-official favorite if such a thing were allowed without CPS being called and if the other 2 were grounded enough in my love to not need therapy later in life. Anyway, her birthday is the 4th and that is a weird dynamic because it is the very same birthday as my mother. My mother turned 50 the day I had a baby and I chose that induction date because she wanted it that way but I almost feel like I will pay for it the rest of my life. Middle child is the sweetest thing ever in the whole wide world. God still reigns.

Sometimes the number 4 hits me like a soccer ball to the bagina and knocks me on my ass. That is what happened yesterday. I have 4 daughters. But I do not get to be a part of the 'I have 4 children club'. There are only 3 car seats (boosters) in my van, 3 pair of pink cleats littering my kitchen floor, 3 kisses goodnight, 3 different voices saying my name.

Sometimes the number 4 hurts. And sometimes it just represents.

Every year my oldest has been in soccer, I have made a t-shirt to wear to games. Avery's Biggest Fan or Avery's Soccer Mom. This year all 3 are playing. I have been trying to decide what to do because I need a shirt for all 3. My love calls me from work to say he found a deal online and is getting me a professional shirt this year! I am stoked as we talk about options. We decide on Team Haynes and some other things and he asks if I know what my number will be. I take a guess and with a touch of pain in my voice (from getting slammed in the croutons earlier) I say I guess 5 because that is how many we are. My love says, "No. Your number is 4".

Oh, that man knows my heart! DAMN!

My Father knows it too. Sometimes 4 hurts and sometimes it represents. That's what Im talkin bout BABY!


Brenda said...

Found your blog through SCL. I've enjoyed reading for a month or two. Your posts always make me laugh and cry. Thanks for sharing so deeply.

M. Steve Heartsill said...

Just found your blog...great stuff...I appreciate the journey you are on!