Friday, August 08, 2008

How missing my kids reads crazy I am. So my older two girls started school today and I am trying to clean my nasty house (and by nasty I mean I do not blame the roaches for blogging about the all you can eat buffet at my house) and I saw some gum I bought for my girls and this is the thought process I had;

I hate gum. Gives me a headache. Unless I am taking X and there are no girls to kiss. Then it is good.
I wish my girls could take a pack of gum to school to remember I love them and buy them gum.
Remember that bitch who wrote me up in the 4th grade for eating candy at school that time? (candy, not gum but whatever)
If my girls ever get in trouble for something stoopid I will prolly buy them more gum.
That and I will want to fight the teacher that wrote them up.

Unfortunatly I am serious. I ran into the teacher that wrote me up for candy after I had grown up and was an adult and had children of my own and the entire time I am talking with her I am thinking 'really bitch? It was a stoopid peice of candy!'. Sorry for the excessive use of the word bitch for the 3 of you who read here. Gum makes me say bitch a lot.

So now I am all anxious about anti-gum/candy bitchy teachers who will try to hurt my children and I feel the need to get out my punching bag or box on wii fit because I am all angry even though my girls have no gum/candy paraphernalia on them.

When they get home I will hug them and give them gum and tell them not to worry about mean people ('bitches' in my head) because I got their backs and they can have all the gum they want.


Kevin Davis said...

Can you post the link for your roaches blog spot? I'd love to read their perspective too.

daphne said...

I could post it but they speak roach and I was not aware you did. In fact they speak cajun roach which is next to impossible to understand. Lots of them came here after Katrina because it is close enough to commute but far enough that when the levees break again, and they will, they will not have to evacuate. Do not get the roaches started on Katrina and the levees!

Stacy from Louisville said...

Your kids can come to my house and have gum and you and I can have any of the following:
1) Ben and Jerry's
2) Peanut Butter M&Ms
3) a good time pranking your former teacher

I'm just saying, it would be fun.