If this year ends and I am not living freer than I was at the beginning of the year, I think that is a problem. I have no good excuse to stay in bondage when I have been given the Truth that will set me free.
I have started sleeping with my house temp. set at 77 which is NOT an even number or a multiple of 5. I have let go of that control. I also do not even look at the digital dial as I lower or raise the volumn on my radio. I just turn until it sounds good. More freedom.
While I am a firm believer that you never can know how you will react in a situation you have never been in before, after my Pastor raised the question 'what would you do if you knew Jesus would be coming to your house in one hour?', I felt my answer was pretty free. I would need to clear some places for people to sit, I would chill some wine and I would invite over people who need some Freedom Jesus as much as me. I would not want to lock up my kids or clean house or cook or change my clothes. I am ok with who I am and while I know I need improvements, I feel free to be who I was made to be without apology.
I was praying on the toilet this morning (my children have a rule to not ask me a thing while I am on the toilet so I throw up popcorn prayers there) and I prayed how I talk. I cussed in prayer. Not like 'Come the F on, Jesus, bless the sh!t outta me, Man!' but real me. The free me. The slightly angry, defensive, lover of my Savior, tryin my best me.
I was tempted recently to follow a posting trend to come clean about my faults and shortcomings but I just did not think that was the direction I needed. There is value in confessing your sins 'one to another' but I would just rather focus on where my freedom takes me today and where I want to try and go tomorrow.
Tomorrow I want to be able to listen to some slamin older favorite music and not flash back to swinging naked around a pole for money. Tomorrow I want to be free to forgive my loved ones that hurt me daily every. single. time. Tomorrow I want to take down another layer of defence and not want to fight for a change. Tomorrow I want to rest & be still and not keep looking over my shoulder. Tomorrow I want to be freer than I am today, no matter what it costs.
Thats what Im talkin about, baby.