Sunday, May 18, 2008

Communication aka the breakdown of Pink vs. Blue

I read this fab book on marriage and it really opened my eyes to a lot of things. I am guilty of hearing a message or word or whatever and thinking 'MAN! My husband needs to get this!' when just as often I need something too. I just can not tell what that something is because of the stoopid plank in my eye. Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs rocks for lots of reasons. The main one was it showed me what an ass I was being to my husband and how great he had been; I just did not reconize it. Eggerichs used a concept that was so brilliant to me. He broke it down to this; men speak and hear blue and women speak and hear pink.

If your marriage is jacked up, read this book. If your marriage is good, read this book. If your marriage is perfect, read this book and share what you learned with your married friends. I love communication and it is an area my marriage needs work in. My husband will often say he told me something and I remind him if he does not say it out loud and to me that does not count. He feels he communicated something to me but when it is too blue I miss it. Now my Love is one who will think to himself he should tell me something and not remember that he never said it out loud but most times I think it boils down to pink vs. blue.

Our latest communication misshap occured when I went to him and asked how he felt about me getting another tattoo. I had been inked 7 times already but all before our daughters and I felt it was a big decission that I did not want to make alone. He gave me one of his standard answers of 'I dont care'. I knew what I wanted but wanted his imput of where and, well, just his imput. All I could get out of him was 'I dont care. Do what you want. I dont care.'

So the day I was to get said tat he seems annoyed and even teases me about being too old for a tattoo. We had some major life stressors occuring at the same time and I was having trouble reading him so I kept asking him if he was ok with what I was doing. 'I dont care'.

Can you imagine my shock when I get back and he freaks on me?!? DUDE! What the hell? He freaks about it being on my back and the size. He says to me, 'I thought you would get something small and tasteful on your ankle or (he said some other location-I heard BLUE BLUE BLUE, BLUE BLUE!). I was like, 'well Simple, what's done is done. I can not take it back.' With the location it is in I need help taking care of it and I hated having to ask him but what could I do. Last night we were lying in bed and he says 'it really is a beautiful tattoo'. I said 'that you wish I did not have?' He said 'yeah'. Blue bastard.

I have a ring I call my family ring and that is what the tat is of. Jesus is the center of our family. The 2 hearts are Kenneth and I joined as one. The colored jewles on the tips of the cross are the birthstones for each of our daughters. Our firstborn, Rya, is green (peridot). Next is Avery in October. Then Emery and last Adrian, both in March. Joshua 24:15 As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord! That's what I'm talkin bout BABY!

1 comment:

Alison said...

Daphne, that is beautiful! I love the meaning and what it symbolizes for you, your family and the Lord.