Friday, June 01, 2007


Ultimately, we are what we do every day. What defines us is not one large good intention to be a good person, or parent—it's a hundred thousand ongoing choices of every size that arise when we're tired, satisfied, distracted, full of ourselves, threatened, happy, reactionary, sentimental, hurried, bored …

Just because I will no longer be able to bear children after my partial hysterectomy does not change who I am in my day to day life. I sometimes live life in the 'if onlys'. If only I had help with my responsibilities, if only the children were older, if only we had more money, if only we had less debt, if only I had one more daughter, if only Rya had not died, if only things were different.

That is no good. Not for me or anybody in my life. I have a choice every day, every hour, every minute. I can choose life or I can choose death. I can choose light or I can choose darkness. It is time I stop letting my circumstances define me. I need to start defining my circumstances instead. That is what Im talkin bout baby.

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