Saturday, November 18, 2006


What a life changing word. My life long best friend called me a year or so ago to tell me her dad had cancer. I love my friend, and I prayed for her dad and the family, but honestly, I had no idea the effect that word has.

It is one of those things that if you have not been there, do not even try to say you understand. It is one of those things that truely gives insight into the whole God thing. God is in control and there is little we can do about it. God is just and soverign no matter how much we hurt. That is hard. Our flesh is so weak. Some things hurt so bad! The pain wants to taint our perspective and have us believe lies instead of Truth. Truth that makes no sense and rips away the illusions of us having any say in how we will live tomorrow.

My Nanny was told yesterday she has cancer. It is in her bones. She has been in severe pain for 8 weeks and now we know why. She takes care of her 3 grandchildren. She is going to the beach house because she does not know if she will ever get another chance to go. She got into bed with her husband of 30-something years last night knowing her tomorrow is in God's Holy Hands, and she has no say. What was important yesterday now means nothing. How incredible to have the perspective Ned must have right now! How incredible if we had that perspective. How shitty she got hers because of cancer.

This IS life. Our story is no different than anyone elses. We will not be featured on Oprah or even the local paper. This is just what happens in life. I trust God and believe He can and will do miricles. Even if He does not for Ned, He is still good. He is still Love. He is in control because He needs to be. What a mess we would make if we controled our own lives. I watched Click yesterday and it has a powerful message. If we could choose to skip the hard times, the trials, the things our flesh rebels from, we would. We are too weak to have that option. That is why we DON'T. We need those times. Mixed in with the trials is some powerful good. We just have to be willing to open our eyes and see it.

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