Thursday, September 09, 2010

The Price of Truth

You have the right to remain silent.  Anything you say can & will be used against you.  I never have been one to remain silent.  I learned at an early age that what I said would be used against me.  Still I could not keep the truth silent.  Apparently I still cant.

I keep hearing one of my favorite songs play over & over in my head.  A line actually.  Aerosmith's Dream On.  You've got to lose to know how to win.  Sometimes when you are honest, when you tell the truth, when you refuse to remain silent, you lose.

There is not much I hate more than lies.  I hate myself most when I lie.  So I came clean about some lies I have been dealing with and it cost me something precious.  I want to be mad about it.  It is so much easier to just emote in anger.  It is so much easier to rage than to be vulnerable & admit pain & brokenness.  The anger belongs to me.  My scars & the open wounds I have hidden with band aids were gifts from others.  The anger, that is mine.  Still, the truth is free.  It is not prison & chains.  It is not darkness & cold.  I may lose but sometimes that is what it takes to win.

In the end I know the price of truth will be worth it.  I trust God & know my broke needs His fix.  I would never want my junk to bleed all over something I love & taint or jeopardize it.  The truth has a high price.  Maybe that is why I require it.  Every body's got their dues in life to pay.

1 comment:

Carole Turner said...

So beautiful! Truth does set us free, i know this sucks, I totally do, I am just praying for you while your walking through all this. I love you and I am not just saying this, if you need anything, please call me. I will do the best I can to help. Your gonna be great on the other side of this. I know it.